Change for the Better

Looking back, I realize that some of my life-changing decisions took place as I matured – like it’s never too late to make changes in your life. In a recent morning meeting, we talked about the word “change.” That we can’t grow if we continue to be complacent, sitting on old ways and letting the world pass us by. In fact, change is something that we can always count on – it’s a continuous process. It never ends.

I’m still learning, too – I’m not there yet, but I’m closer than I was yesterday. With a little time and patience, I have learned some very important life lessons that have kept me changing in the right direction. Here are a few beliefs that have changed me for the better.

Willingness. It all starts right here – be open to change. I believe if you want to change your life, you can. If you’re not willing to change, there is nothing in this world that can do it for you.

Take the time. I had to give myself time to think and reflect. If I’m always busy, I won’t have the time to think about my life – let alone take action to improve it.

Rethink thoughts. A good friend of mine pointed out that I was unconsciously saying things to myself that were hindering me from moving forward. I had no idea that I was doing this. Making a conscious decision and effort to identify those negative thoughts, I had to eliminate phrases like:

“I can’t …”

“I won’t be able to …”

“There’s no way …”

I replaced these limiting thoughts with empowering beliefs; writing out positive statements that countered the negative ones, like:

“I can …”

“I will …”

“I’m capable of …”

Replace habits. Besides identifying my limiting beliefs, I had to identify my bad habits in order to change for the better. Knowing that there were habits that were dragging me down, I made a list of all of them. Looking at them helped me evaluate the problem. So, rather than focusing on breaking those habits, I focused on creating new positive ones to replace them. For example, I love to watch TV (especially the Food Channel). It’s on all day, every day. Instead of focusing on reducing my TV time, I built positive habits that used my time in a better way. For instance, I developed a routine of reading more.

Build confidence. Making a list of what I’ve accomplished in my life has helped to remind me of my inner strength and resources when things turn topsy-turvy. Reminding myself, “I’ve put myself through college. I’ve raised two great sons. I can definitely handle this, too.”

Accept responsibility. It ain’t them! Once I stopped blaming family, friends, a boss, or the economy for the bad things that have happened and accepted responsibility for my life, real change was within my reach. Whether your life goes up or down depends on you and you alone.

Keep a journal. Journaling is by far one of the most useful things I’ve done to change my life for the better. It works in such a silent, yet effective way. Writing down feelings, ideas, goals, and activities confirms your beliefs in life. All you need is pen and paper.

Gratitude. When was the last time you said “thank you” with all your heart? A true attitude of gratitude is key to success. Listing daily all that I’m grateful for keeps me in a positive state of mind.

Don’t stop learning. Being open to new avenues and adventures has kept me motivated. Don’t get stuck in a single career or hobby that you find boring and limited. Learning different skills, from completely unrelated fields has kept me challenged.

Just do it. Did you ever see the movie, The Bucket List? The whole time I was thinking of all the things I wanted to do in my life, but fear always got in the way. What was holding me back? I made a list of all my life goals – picked one and made it happen. Doing something that I’ve always wanted to do has kept me alive! Be the change and go for it!

Maintenance. Repetition strengthens and confirms. By living the change and practicing your new behavior day after day, you will create your own discipline. If you get side-tracked, not to worry – get up and get back into your routine.

Don’t like your life? Change it! Accepting change doesn’t mean that you have to fear it. These days, I’m really not fond of my skin heading further south. But, only when I accept that my work and personal life will go through different phases, can I take the necessary steps to minimize the negative impacts and capitalize on the opportunities. Just sayin’.

Published: Apartment News Magazine – September/October issue 2012