Making Connections

We’ve all heard the saying, “People do business with those they like, know, and trust.” It’s true! Business and personal success is all about the right connections. These connections – colleagues, employees, customers, friends, and partners – and more importantly, the people that THEY know, lead to new opportunities. But how do these connections actually form?

Many of us instinctively recognize when someone is only in it for themselves. These are the wrong connections, right? Right! Here are some ways to find and cultivate the right connections, where everyone involved believes in the principal of win-win relationships.

1. Ask questions first. Before you launch into a hard sell with a prospect or a bragging session with a potential new friend, take time to ask them about themselves or their business. When you ask questions, you help your customer (and potential new friend) explain what they’re looking for and recognize your interest in them as genuine. Questions are fundamental to relationship building, and the more skilled you are at asking them, the stronger the relationship you’ll create.

2. Really listen. There’s nothing worse than feeling ignored, or like you’re the distraction when it’s obvious that someone isn’t focusing on the conversation. Really focus on what the other person is saying before you respond. Nobody likes a person that seems to only be waiting for their turn to talk.

3. Remember things. Do you remember when you would walk into a local store and everyone knew your name? Or asked about your dog or cat? Or mentioned they liked your new haircut? When you remember one or two details about someone – a customer, a vendor, or a friend – you show you value that person. Everyone likes to feel important, and showing you took the time and interest to listen to someone enough to remember these details is one way to do that.

4. Be honest. Be honest about yourself, your own business and your capabilities. By creating an open culture, especially about your own shortcomings, you encourage people to be honest with you. I’ve found this is one of the biggest things that helps build trust.

5. Talk about yourself. Once you’ve done all of the above, you can make it personal by revealing something about yourself. Just be sure it’s something genuine your potential connect can relate to and isn’t too personal. It’s important that the connection be real.

6. Connect Face-to-Face. While it’s often much quicker and less stressful to email a connection, face-to-face meetings create far more meaningful connections – both for personal and business relationships. If your potential connection is far away, consider using Skype or FaceTime to put a real face to the conversation.

7. Be patient. Like most important things, it takes time to develop lasting relationships in your personal life and in business. So don’t rush the process. We’re all busy, but expecting an instant connection with anyone is unrealistic.

8. Make time. The flip side of being patient is making time to connect. Schedule lunch or coffee dates with friends and potential business connections to strengthen the relationships. Attend networking events yourself regularly without expecting an instant increase in sales. Ask your employees and colleagues to leave the office periodically to attend networking events organizations. The fresh ideas you all will learn and new people you will meet will inspire you all further.

Our real goal in making connections should be to learn from, and build real relationships with people who challenge us to stretch our thinking. Of course, friends, relatives and people who are just like us are important, but to be truly successful and reach our full potential, we should create important and meaningful connections with a broad sweep of people. When we’re open to the universe putting the right people in our path, we’re sure to find connections everywhere. Just sayin’.

Published: New Mexico Apartment News Magazine – May/June issue 2016