Life Lessons Learned

As I get older, I find that I am becoming wiser. Wisdom comes with age―mostly from making mistakes and learning from the consequences. And I earned every one of those gray hairs that my stylist covers up. The most important thing to remember is that each mistake is a chance to learn, and to grow personally and professionally. Here are some things I’ve learned over the years.

It’s okay to slow down: As a perfectionist and a workaholic, I used to think that being busy all the time was a badge of honor. That if I was not doing something productive or knocking myself out, that I was a complete failure. But I have also learned that slowing down is actually good. Working too much makes us stupider and depressed according to the American Journal of Epidemiology. So slow down!

Choose your words. Words can be powerful, and I’ve learned (only with time) to choose mine carefully. Have you ever said something or texted someone a quick response, to only think later “Why did I say that?” I have learned to pause and collect my thoughts before responding in haste. That way I can fully concentrate on what I have been told or asked and can consider how to best reply.

It’s okay to ask for help. I’ve always struggled with asking (and accepting) help from others. But I’ve learned that I’m not suited for all tasks or jobs. So, I surround myself with people who have different strengths and skills than me. Admitting that I need and want help also allows those people to shine in their jobs! It’s a win-win for everyone.

Use the “off” switch. This is a big one in today’s fast-paced world. It’s okay to turn off social media and the news. That off switch really works! My mind can’t handle the constant negativity, fighting, and toxicity that we often see on TV or online, so I’ve learned to really limit my consumption of it all. I personally find myself much happier when I’m not comparing myself to everything I see on social media.

Love and respect yourself and others will do the same. A good friend of mine once pointed out that I was unconsciously saying things to myself that were hindering me. I had no idea that I was doing this. So, I made the conscious decision to identify those negative thoughts as they happen and replace them with positive ones, I eliminated limiting phrases like, “I can’t …” “I won’t be able to …” “There’s no way …” and   replaced them with empowering phrases likes “I can …” “I will….” “I’m capable of …”  As soon as I started using uplifting language not only did, I believe in myself more, but so did everyone around me.

Learn from your mistakes without beating yourself up. Some days we just blow it. We drop the ball, snap at a coworker or loved one, or the day just doesn’t go as planned. We also set unrealistically high goals or standards for ourselves and feel like we should be doing more. But don’t blame others – take responsibility. Then stop obsessing! It happened. Learn from it and let it go. You’re only human.

Put work aside. Rest equals recharging your creativity and energy. That doesn’t just mean getting a good night’s sleep – it also means taking time off to relax and play. When I learned that this isn’t “wasting” time, I found myself with more energy and ideas and interest in my work. That also means when you’re sick, stay at home and rest, too. And don’t be afraid to put your work aside and enjoy some time relaxing with friends, family or by yourself.

Take the time for self-care. If your body is healthy and in good repair, you are better able to handle any stress in your life. Conversely, a healthy mind impacts your body, too. Eat a healthy diet, exercise regularly, drink plenty of water and get enough sleep. And indulge yourself with whatever you consider self-care – get a mani/pedi (yes, guys, too), a massage, play golf, go to the movies, read a book, play with your pet, have a special cocktail, or fancy dessert.

Set boundaries. Saying yes when you should say no can leave you feeling resentful and overwhelmed. Friends and colleagues will understand if you can’t participate in every project or activity. Be prepared to say no when someone asks you to do something you don’t want to do. You’ll feel better and it’ll be easier the next time.

So take a lesson from someone who’s been around the block a few times. Give yourself a break and learn from your past. Take the negative and positive lessons and apply them going forward. Be happy you’ve gotten to this point―you’ve grown. Just sayin’.

Published: New Mexico Apartment News Magazine – May/June issue 2021