Effective Communication

A generational communication shift in combination with coming out of quarantine and only seeing people on screens have left many of us perplexed on how to interact with others, especially when we know people want to do business with those who show likability, respect, and accountability. This builds trust, which in turn helps your business. It takes a little effort to build these communication skills, but it pays off.

Here are a few tips I’ve relied on over the years to improve my communication skills. They may help you, too.

Smile. Smiling shows enthusiasm and energy. It’s an easy way to convey warmth and likeability. Smiling is also contagious. People will walk away thinking you’re a friendly, relatable person, which is exactly what you want to build trust. 

Make eye contact. Focusing on the person speaking lets them know you’re listening to them, and that you aren’t worrying about what to make for dinner or about your next call. Keep your phone hidden; resist the urge to check your email or texts. Even if the conversation isn’t comfortable, make eye contact and hold it. 

Give a firm handshake. Not too hard, not too soft – think about Goldilocks and the Three Bears. Research shows that people decide whether or not they like you within seconds of meeting you. A firm handshake contributes enormously to a positive first impression. 

Call people by their names. I know this is hard for those of us who forget someone’s name the minute we hear it, but practicing using someone’s name in conversation helps us cement it in our minds. It signals that you’re interested in making a connection with the other person. People appreciate it when you remember their names. Practice different strategies to remember names if you have trouble. 

Listen more than you speak. The old saw “you have two ears and only one mouth, and you should use them in that proportion” is still as true as when your grandmother admonished you with it. Try not just responding to what someone is saying but recapping what you’ve heard to ensure understanding. Say, “If I’m understanding you correctly, you said….” Try it, it works! 

Say you’re sorry. Trust me; this works even when you’re not to blame! It’s an effective way to show that you’re putting yourself in their shoes and are trying to relate. Taking accountability for your/your company’s mistakes is the first step in banishing ill feelings. Expressing that you understand someone’s experience increases trust. 

Keep your word. Another way to build trust is by keeping your word, whether that’s meeting a deadline or delivering the quality service you said you would. In the rare event plans do change, let them know before the deadline. Offer an apology and give the customer an update.  Remember: no one likes to be kept in the dark, especially paying customers. 

Stand and sit up straight. Bad posture sends a message that you’re bored, don’t care, or grumpy. If you convey negative body language, no one will want to get to know you. In fact, according to psychologists, standing or sitting in an expansive way (legs apart, arms spread wide, leaning forward) conveys confidence. Everyone likes a confident person. 

Positivity is key. While it’s easy to complain and gossip, no one wants to be around a whiner. These energy vampires suck all the life out of the room. Talk about an instant turnoff! When surrounded by these negative Nellies, change your situation. And don’t be one, either! 

Don’t judge a book by its cover. It’s a cliché, sure, but first impressions can be powerful. And as much as we don’t like to admit it, a less-than-stellar first impression can cause us to close people out. The more effort we make to reach out to people to get to know them, the more likable we become in their eyes.

Many of these tips come down to simply showing respect. When we show respect, most of the time we get respect and trust in return. Now, try these easy communication skills out today. We guarantee you’ll see results. Just sayin’.

Published: New Mexico Apartment News Magazine – July/August 2023